Combatting Mummy Loneliness

Being pregnant is such a special time in a woman’s life, and the excitement surrounding the arrival of your new baby is often shared by friends, family and work colleagues.

Once the baby arrives and people around you go back to their normal lives, it can be a very lonely time for a new mum. People you spoke to daily at work can drift away, and you can easily feel isolated and alone.

Here are a few tips to get out with your baby and maybe even make new friends too.

~ Rhyme Time at your local library.

This was an absolutely lovely time for Isla and I. Rhyme Time is run weekly at a range of libraries in our city, the session goes for 30 minutes and is filled with nursery rhymes, songs and dancing too. At our local library a space is made and it is JAM-PACKED with first time mums with their new babies, so get there early! It’s a great opportunity to meet other mums, and enjoy some special time with your little one too. Best of all, they’re free.

GC library events:

http://www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/library/documents/Libraries_Calendar_of_Events_Feb-Mar_2016_WEB.pdf

~ New Parent Information Sessions conducted by Queensland Health

My local QLD Health Community Child Health Service Centre conducted these free sessions weekly over a 6-week period. Recommended for parents with babies up to 6 months, they were facilitated by midwives and covered a range of topics including feeding, sleep patterns, settling techniques, teething, food intolerances and much more. I found these sessions to be a great source of knowledge. The midwives were lovely, open and happy to take questions too.

~ Join a mother’s group

Easier said than done right? Well at the end of my 6 week sessions with QLD health, the mums exchanged details and organized a catch-up. This is how my mother’s group was born. I NEVER thought I’d join a mother’s group, but honestly I am so glad I did. The women I met have been by my side through some of the toughest parenting moments without judgment, and have always provided nothing but support and love to Isla and I. So much so that I am now Godmother to the 2^nd child of a mum I met through mothers group. Fellow 1^st time mums can very easily become some of the closest friends you’ll ever have.

~Mummy & Me Group Fitness

Once the newborn fog lifts it is SO good for both mum and baby to get into the sun and enjoy the outdoors. Our local city council hosts a range of low cost fitness classes designed to get parents moving, meeting other new parents and enjoying the outdoors. Check your local council website and see what’s on offer in your area.

GCCC Active Healthy Parents Program:

http://www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/documents/bf/active-healthy-program-parents.pdf

So make sure you venture outside the ‘new mum bubble’ and seek some like-minded people. Not only will you and your baby enjoy it, you may be lucky and meet new life-long friends.

Moving Forward

Pic Credit - @my.heart.project

Moving Forward

By Bel Meginley

This week has been a big week.

On Sunday Isla (who’s 3 in April) upgraded to a bed, so her room has been redone and the cot and change table are gone. Then on Monday we sold my car.

Doesn’t really seem like that much, right? Well let me tell you I sobbed, just the way my 2 year old would if she lost her favourite bunny. It hit me like a tonne of bricks – We had just sold so much more than a car and a cot, I felt as though we sold the memories that go along with them. We brought her home from the hospital in that car, our first driving holiday, day trips to Byron and so much more. Then with the cot gone too its like a chapter of both my life and Isla’s has closed.

We have made the decision to be a 1-child family (for a range of reasons, but that’s a whole other story), so I won’t experience those moments again with another baby. It made me so sad to think that its finished. It doesn’t make me change my mind about having another baby, more just reflect on those memories. Turns out I’m a hopelessly sentimental person. I can only imagine I’ll be a wreck when Isla starts school.

Which has lead me on a train of thought – I speak to people who say “I feel like I missed out on that newborn baby time cause they had reflux”, or “I feel like I didn’t get the chance to enjoy my second pregnancy cause I was running around after my toddler”. We are all guilty of getting busy and it’s easy to rush through our days, weeks and months – especially with a newborn. But these days are so short in their life and you don’t get them back.

Knowing I probably wouldn’t ever experience it again, I made a commitment to embrace and make the most of each second, right from the start of my pregnancy.

Don’t look back and regret that you weren’t in the moment with your kids. One day they’ll stop mispronouncing “effalent” (elephant in toddler-speak) and you’ll wish they’d say it just one more time.

Don’t miss those special moments, no matter how big or small. Don’t be in a rush to get them to bed – will just one more story really hurt?

Remember the good moments, and look back and laugh on the bad ones (they’re usually not THAT bad when you think about them later).

Take selfies with your kids – A good 95% off all the photos I have with Isla are ones we’ve taken ourselves. Its quite often that its just the two of us during the day with hubby working, so if you’re always behind the camera you never get any shots of you and your kids. Believe me, your kids don’t care if your hair and makeup aren’t perfect, but they’ll love to see the photos of you together as they grow.

Make memories together. It doesn’t have to be grand over-the-top expensive; honestly kids don’t really care. One of our favourite things to do as a family is grab take away for dinner, drive to our special spot and watch the planes land in the back of the car.

It’s time to turn the page on that chapter and open a fresh page, and I’m looking forward to what’s in-store for us next!

Lest We Forget – ANZAC Day Toddler Craft

My my its been far too long between posts. I’ll do another one soon and update you all on the last 12 months, but don’t worry, I’m still here!

I’m glad I decided to do a blog about ANZAC Day tomorrow; it shows you all how important it is to us. A close family member is currently serving in the armed forces and we are so proud of their dedication and sacrifice. I believe it is important to remember those currently serving as well as those who have come before them.

Isla is 2 now and is home with me each day, so I try to do some kind of engaging activity each day. It might be as exciting as Seaworld for a few hours, or as simple as painting the fence with water and a paintbrush, but I REFUSE to allow the TV to raise my child. (there’s a time and a place, no judgement here :))

So I decided we’d do some ANZAC day craft today. Being a 2 year old Isla has the attention span of a butterfly, so anything crafty has to be quick, easy and ideally (for me) relatively mess free. So we made Poppies out of cupcake wrappers.

Wanna have a go? Here’s what you’ll need:

• ·      Red Cupcake Wrappers – We started out with plain red but ran out, so used the polka dot ones too.
• ·      Sticky Tape
• ·      Black Marker – Of course, use non-toxic if you can.
• ·      Tooth Picks – I use these cocktail forks for cupcake toppers but toothpicks would work just as well. If you wanted to get fancy you can use green food colouring to tint them. It takes a few hours for them to soak so you’d need to do it in advance.

Luckily I had everything we needed at home, which is always a win.

 Take your cupcake wrapper and lay it out flat with the coloured side up

 Now grab your marker and draw a circle in the centre of the wrapper – or if you’re a toddler a scribble will do just fine.

Flip the wrapper over and use a piece of sticky tape to hold the toothpick in place. Isla was very helpful and keeping the stick still while I popped the sticky tape on.

Turn the Poppy back over and gently fold the edges toward the centre so it looks a little ruffled and you’re done! How easy was that?

I then got a little excited and made a few double up ones, I used another piece of sticky tape to attach one wrapper to another, then tore the edges to give it a little more dimension.

Isla had a ball, and couldn’t wait to go and plant them in the garden.

Plus of course, you’re not limited to red, make them up in whatever colour you have in the cupboard.

Let me know if you make some - I'd love to see them x

Bel 

Carousels and Cupcakes

Well the big day has been and gone. My little miss Isla turned 1 on Thursday. We had a great day at Seaworld.

But Saturday was the main event; the Party. As I have said in an earlier post I really wanted to make it a special day, knowing full well she wouldn't remember it. It was a lot of work, but so worth it, and we had a really special day. We held the party in a park close to home. It was nice to have it away from home and we had plenty of space for the kiddies to run around.

I started out by choosing a downloadable PDF party pack from Sunshine Parties on Etsy. It was pretty easy to put our own text into the templates, then print it ourselves at home. This suited me perfectly as I am a bit particular and needed everything to match!

Here's the invite - a Pink & Peppermint colour scheme

The set also included a Banner, Cupcake Toppers, Food Labels, Thank you swing tags and more. I soon learnt it was all about preparation and formed a plan of attack: I completed all decorations and favours in the 2 weeks before, then the week of the party it was only food to prepare.

The banner which came with the package

I also made 2 fabric garlands

My very crafty husband decided he'd get into the spirit and made an incredible Carousel backdrop. We used a silhouette image, cut it out and painted it in the colours of the theme. It looked incredible! 

The backdrop!

We had also seen (thanks to my Pinterest addiction) those amazing chalkboards people get made up and again my husband says "I can do one of those". With more than a little scepticism I set him to task and he came up with this! I love how it has so many special little things unique to Isla, it looks so incredible I think I see a business opportunity...

 Isla's custom chalkboard

I also made a photo board with images from each month from the first year, and we had the obligatory paper lanterns hung around the shade cover. 

One piece of advice to anyone hosting a 1st birthday party - bring a playpen. It was a great spot to place the babies, knowing they wouldn't crawl away and eat gum nuts or mushrooms! 

Then the all important food: I did a trial cake. It was my first time using fondant and I'm glad I practised otherwise I would've been panicking in the early hours of Saturday morning trying to finish it!

I decided on a good old fashioned Number 1. I made a classic vanilla cake, and coloured half pink then flavoured it with raspberry jam to make a marble cake. I haven't seen marble cakes for years and decided it was time to bring it back! It was a big success!

The all important cake

Baking is my thing, so no party of mine is complete complete without cupcakes. They look so sweet with the toppers.

Sometimes just a little frosting is all you need

I also LOVE the look of cake pops but knew I didn't have time, so I decided on marshmallow pops. You get the same impact, but with half the effort. Plus we already had Cake AND Cupcakes, we didn't need more cake! Wilton sell lollypop sticks in packs for about $5, and cake pop stands for about $15 so I didn't have to worry about fashioning a receptacle for them.

White Choc Marshmallow Pops

We also had fruit salad, sandwiches, mini pikelet stacks, savoury quiches & mini blueberry muffins. I really wanted a range of food the children could eat. We also had a Cruskit buffet with vegemite, peanut butter and avocado cruskits (obviously I checked no one had allergies before doing the peanut butter ones). For the adults we also had a selection of dips and turkish bread. It was plenty for a morning tea, and a nice combination of sweet and savoury.

We hired mason jars and dispensers from A Day with Polly and served Iced Tea and Ginger Beer, as well as bottled water.

For party favours I made ribbon rings for the smaller kids - same concept as a ribbon wand but without the risk of babies poking themselves. Blue for boys and pink for girls, plus a bottle of bubbles. If in doubt, always a add bubbles! For the older kids I made colouring books and popped a few crayons in so they could make a start on the ride home.

We bought Isla a vintage rocking horse and restored it for her birthday, so we bought it along for the kids to enjoy on the day too. I received one for my first birthday so it was nice to continue the family tradition. We sanded it back, steam-cleaned the mane and tail (I didn't want to replace it, it has old-world charm), replaced the ears and bridle then sealed it with a furniture wax. We dubbed him George and Isla loves him! 

Finally... That outfit! I wanted the same colours as the theme and found this beautiful Jennifer Paganelli story which was just perfect. My mum made this romper for Isla, a matching bib, and a wool felt crown! A very dear friend of Isla's gave her the most perfect leather walkers from All About Heidi.

All in all it was a fantastic day, even though it was a little overwhelming for Miss Isla. Of course I got a bit teary (I knew I would!) at the outpouring of love from our friends and family for her. It has been a HUGE year. I have learnt so much about myself as a person, a wife and now a mum. I can't wait to see what's just around the corner.

xx

It's Party Time!

Wether I like it or not, miss Isla is turning one in a month. I do not understand where the last 5 or so months have gone! To me she is still about 6 months old, until I see an actual baby and I think "oh yeah, THAT's a baby".

I am truly excited by the prospect of Isla's first birthday party. We are on one income, so we are a little more humble than what my "Party Ideas" Pinterest board may lead people to believe, but nonetheless I think it is important to celebrate her first birthday with a party surrounded by family and friends. Yes she won't remember it, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that we celebrated her. I'm sure she won't remember all her fabulous headbands either but that doesn't stop me.

March/April is my Silly Season. For obvious reasons all the babies from my Mother's Group are also having birthdays so the invites have come in thick and fast for 1st birthday parties from all her little friends. We have at least 1 every weekend for the month of March, some weekends we have 2!

We commenced the party scene last Saturday with a BANG! A Teepee themed boys birthday styled by the incredible Hayley from A Day With Polly. The area was decorated in gorgeous orange, aqua and brown tones, using beautiful fabric garlands, cushions and throws not to mention the centrepiece; that fabulous teepee. It was a great morning, each of the kiddies got feather headbands to wear, and gorgeous favour bags adorned with paper feathers in the same colours. Super cute!

I left feeling totally inspired and a little anxious... A cloud of realisation has come over me and settled squarely on my shoulders. A first birthday is a BIG deal! It will be used to gauge how "together" I have things. Heck, people can gauge ME as a mum based on this party. I feel like I've stepped into a mash up of the My Kitchen Rules Instant Restaurant rounds & Toddlers and Tiaras. My mind starts racing; I need to get the cake made by a professional - the AWW kids cakes cookbook isn't gonna cut it. I need incredible decorations, party favours,  elephant rides, fire breathing dragons, and every Disney Princess you can name at my party. My daughter's party must be the best! 

As all these thoughts race around my head I get the all too familiar "ding... ding... DING..." of the bank balance push through it all and I'm dragged back to reality. My husband and I are both relatively handy so we've got the creative juices flowing and are going the DIY path. There's plenty we can do ourselves, which will make it unique and special to us. I'm even surprising myself!

We will still have a beautiful day without the elephants, I suppose...

Hail Cesar!

At 7:30am April 3, 2013 my little angel Isla was born. The mood was calm, my husband & I were relaxed and it was the delivery I had always dreamed of.

I delivered my daughter via CDMR (that’s Caesarean Delivery on Maternal Request). It is my hope that my story will help show people not all Caesareans are emergency ones. They do not have to be a scary, stressful unknown experience. They are not all a matter of life and death; like the horror stories we’ve all heard.

Let’s rewind a bit to how my decision came about. My sister and I were both delivered via caesarean, so it is not uncommon in my family. I have grown up understanding there are two ways a baby can be born; both holding their own risks. Long before we began trying to fall pregnant, I signed up for private health insurance, with top obstetric cover to ensure I would be able to choose a doctor who would support my birth plan. 

After more than a year of trying we finally fell pregnant! I thoroughly researched my options and found that an Elective Cesar would allow me to know exactly what was happening throughout the delivery, as opposed to a natural birth where there are so many variables. I wanted to conserve my energy so I could be the best mum I could be to the world’s biggest variable: a new baby!

After researching Obstetricians in my area I had a meeting with one I felt looked ok (how do you really know from an internet profile, right?). After a quick ultrasound he handed me some paperwork and asked if I had any questions. I said “Just one; I want a CDMR. Are you ok with that? If not that’s ok, I will find an obstetrician who is”. He laughed and replied “that’s perfect with me! I am here to help you in whatever you chose”.

On the day of the surgery I arrived at the hospital at 6am booked for theatre at 7. They ushered me into my room, checked the baby’s heartbeat, handed me a sick bag (I had morning sickness EVERY DAY of my pregnancy… even on the way to theatre!), sat me in a wheelchair and we were off.

ready to head down to the operating room

I had the luxury of also choosing my Anaesthetist; he was a client of my husbands, who we knew well for a number of years. They took me into the theatre, sat me on the edge of the bed and gave me the spinal epidural. We chatted the whole time about our weekend as though nothing was going on at all. Within seconds I was feeling the effects. I was then transferred onto the operation table.

They ushered my husband in, and he sat beside my head. We chatted with the anaesthetist about the football match we went to the Saturday before. I knew every noise, every movement, what every person was doing at all times. I was comfortable, happy and content. No more than 15 minutes later I heard a cry and she was here!! 8 pounds, 1 oz of perfection and the greatest love I will ever know.

In post-op my hospital provides skin-to-skin time, allowing Isla to snuggle with me, and she nuzzled in to feed almost straight away. We then returned to our room and began life as a little family.

The first 24 hours I was kept in bed, but by the next morning I was helped to have a shower and encouraged to take short walks. I had no pain from the surgery; rather more discomfort from the afterbirth. I showered unassisted the following day, and was then heading down to the hospital café. I stayed in the 5 nights as per the hospital recommendations and had a great experience.

By 2 weeks I was driving, lifting washing baskets, going for daily walks and honestly never felt any discomfort from the surgery whatsoever. At my 6 week check up I asked my obstetrician “Are you sure you took her out through there?” 9 months on I have a 7cm horizontal scar which looks like the crease inside your elbow, and it continues to fade.

It was really surprised to experience the judgement (both blatant and disguised) at my decision to have a CDMR. People would say “oh no! That’s a shame” and look at me with pity in their eyes. I had family tell me I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed (nearly 10 months going strong now; no bottles, no expressing, no formula and proud of it!). I had people offer to explain their own natural birth experiences, as maybe I was just scared. I had people tell my husband to be prepared to shower me for 6 weeks after the birth. I even had a midwife at my Antenatal Class pull me aside during the break and ask if I needed more information about a NORMAL birth!! (To which I replied, “there is nothing abnormal about a Cesar”…). Every single bad story you have hear just doesn’t apply to me.

For me, my birth experience was perfect. In no way do I feel as though I missed out by not going into labour, in fact the opposite. I was in control the entire time, and this enabled me to solely focus on my newborn baby, and if I ever have another I will do it all over again.

Social Media and My Baby - No Deal!

As some of you already know, I don't place any images of my daughter on social media. I'm the minority. I'm the outcast. I'm the weird over-protective mother. I've got to say I was surprised to be the one outnumbered. For me, however, it is a way I can protect my child's privacy, something I am fiercely passionate about.

I see people taking photos of their child at Rhyme Time; a 1/2hr session held at the local libraries where we all sit our babies down and sing nursery rhymes. I have been taking Isla since she was quite little, and she LOVES it! If you're a parent and you don't know what this is, get onto it quick smart!
Anyway... Parents watch their little darlings clapping along and of course want to capture a shot of the moment, which may inadvertently include my daughter. What do I do? I don't want some random stranger with an image of my child, so I cover her face.

How is this any different to uploading a picture of my child onto Facebook? Yes I have super-tight privacy settings, but the thing that scares me is anyone who sees an image can save it to their camera roll. What they then do is out of my control. Next time they sync their phone to their computer it ends up in their photo library, then say they get a virus and all their images are copied? Then who has that innocent picture?

I am not naive enough to think Facebook is a safe environment, regardless of the security controls you can select. The fact is, once you upload an image to Facebook they OWN your image. They could do whatever they want with it. Someone somewhere in Facebook Head Office could be scrolling through (don't think they can't) and think "Hey, that's pretty cute. We could absolutely sell that image to a marketing company" or worse. At the end of the day, these social media outlets are businesses, and how they generate an income surely cannot solely be from those annoying banner ads running down the side of your page (especially when more and more people are accessing social media via handheld devices).

If you think I'm being excessive, consider this; Facebook is currently being sued for intercepting private messages "In an effort to learn the content of the user's communication". In the past 2 years, Facebook has paid over $US30 million to settle law suits relating to privacy. as reported by the ABC.

I read an article last week about the ever-increasing movement to protect the rights of children, particularly on the social media stage;

In 2013, Australia’s first National Children’s Commissioner was appointed at the Australian Human Rights Commission to ensure that children’s voices are heard when “decisions are made about the issues that affect their lives”. Today, the commission launches its Children’s Rights Report, the first of its kind in Australia. 

You can read the entire article here

Don't think I'm not tempted. Of course I have the most beautiful baby girl who has ever entered this world, and I would love nothing more than to bombard everyone with adorable images of her. I have literally thousands to chose from; I have worked out in just over 9 months I have taken an average of 17 photos a day of her. I carry them on my phone and will show anyone who even has the slightest interest. However, It is the decision my husband and I have made to protect her, and a decision I am confident in.

As I said, I know I'm the exception to the norm, and what other people do is their prerogative. I'm not here to be all judgey. However, I find it interesting how it is a conversation which has been somewhat unspoken, just think about it. Perhaps putting a naked image of your child on the internet isn't a great idea...